I love you.

3 simple words.

Yet they hold such meaning.
or do they?
I mean... they should.
But these days sometimes I feel like they have almost lost their meaning... like society has almost become immune to the power of those words and all of it's implications.
It's definately something i struggle with.
I mean, Jesus talks all the time about love and how vital it is
and woah. God IS love.
People's perception of what it is can sometimes be so twisted... maybe due to wounds and hurts of their past, maybe due to not even knowing what love really is... Many reasons.
It's SO easy to get caught up in thinking that love has to be earnt... or warranted... or love is attraction... maybe love is materialistic and is in how much you buy for someone...
maybe to love you have to be with someone all the time... maybe call a lot and text/email...
Well, there are definately love languages... 5 different ways that people receieve/give love:
words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch...
So some of that's ok... But in balance.
We need to get our needs met first and foremost by God...
Love. four letters that spin my world around.
See, i used to say "i love you" really easily... to friends, to people maybe i didn't even know that well... Then i got told how it had almost lost it's meaning because I said it so much...
So i didn't say it anymore...
Then it became almost a fear to say it.
It took A LOT for me to say it... to anybody. Even my closest friends...
Love in my world has definately been misused and warped... but the more I knew Jesus, the more I was falling in LOVE with Him and the more i was learning to be loved (which FYI is at times freaking difficult... to be loved... for me anyways.)
So where did this leave me?
Now that i was learning what love truly meant... should I still have boundaries? should I still let people know how much they meant to me? would they know that I truly meant when i said that i loved them? Was it more than pleasantries or nice words? And what if they didn't say it back? Or what if I appear to call/email more? Does that mean that it's imbalanced?
It's hard to give without receving sometimes... That's why our identity and dependancy needs to be only in God...
Honestly, I have no conclusion.
A huge fear of it was broken while I was in New York the first time...
but slowly I've noticed that it's getting harder and harder for me to say it.
Sometimes it's hard for me not to say it.
Like if someone says "I love you."
what do you say back?! well... if you change the subject it's rude, if you ignore it is that disrespecting their potentially heartfelt words... If you're silent, it's just awkward...
Sometimes I find that i say it almost as a reflex... because i'm overanalysing (I do that. A lot.)
I honestly have no conclusion.
Other than that it really is ok to love.
But I guess the 3 words are nothing if we don't truly mean it... And how do we mean it?
Well... If God is love, than surely the more we know Him, the more we know love...

I way over complicate things.
But yeah... I know for sure that if God is love and I love God then I love love... i love to love. I love to be loved... and umm... I don't know how to tie up all the thoughts in my head or if these ones even make sense.

goodnight =P