soooooo it's time to move on... im at a point of taking practical steps of letting go of some stuff... and some of that means i need to stop writing in this blog... deep huh?! however... if you, the faithful few, would like my new blog address... feel free to ask! i don't know if you can message me through this blog... but if not, facebook/email me... or leave a comment on here and i'll find a way to get it to you peace, love and new beginnings! x Tasha x
tonight's one of those nights where so much has happened... that words aren't quite sufficient... God did such a deep work in my heart that i don't think i even know what happened! After church the visiting pastor prayed for me and it was SO spot on and relevent... i love that.
i saw the answer to prayer. across the hall.
i love that.
p.s answer your phone! You said we should talk... so i was planning on calling until you randomly pick up. but yeah... maybe you should just let me know when's good.
when she told me that it was just hard not knowing where she stood with that other person... i knew exactly what she meant.
because i want to be loved, this is what i do.
you know those days when you don't quite want to be on your own... but you don't really want to be with anyone else?
she told me thankyou for not giving up on her. i told her i wouldn't. i won't. precious hearts need love...without condition. so i don't care if you're rude to me every time we see eachother... i see past that, darling girl... i see that you're just trying to find God... to find truth... to find yourself... i just love you!
It's alisha's last night here... She's finishing up packing... ready for our last roadtrip... to the airport...
for the first time in 2 years i actually kind of care that i don't have credit.
goodnight sleeptight don't let the bedbugs bite. if they do grab a shoe and beat them till they're black and blue.
just so you know, i'm taking these sweatpants hostage. coffee and openess and brokeness (a.k.a ammuntion...) oh, and holding the door open. Some people want it all but i don't want nothing at all... wild child and camera pick ups. dinner and DTS. the long way home. nightime childhood tours and castles and cellars. if you could paint a picture what would you paint? that field i saw that time. uploading photos and crashing internet. grammar corrections and emails. might as well stay over. cue the sweats and lady levi hoody. and that's just in half a day! i can't believe it's taken us this long to be friends, div! but i just think you're pretty amazing. on more levels than you can comprehend. also, remember john 3:16... ;) and jeremiah 29:11 and Joshua 1:5.. Exodus 14:14 and one we didn't cover last night as such... 1 John 4:18 ha! you should write me a note...so i can spit my gum in it.
<3 -------- 5th at 11:30 7th at 7:30 14th at 8:30 2nd at 2:30. 4th at 6:30 7th at 3:30 -------
i don't want to always drive my car...or my soul on reserve! i gotta practise filling up before i NEED to...
i'm feeling half productive... the inside of my car is now vacuumed and clean. now to tackle my bedoom... i don't know how clothes just appear at the end of my bed... into a big, huge, random mountain that almost seems impossible to even try to get rid of... but faith the size of a mustard seed, right?! =p
I should be finishing up the acoustic album on weds... i'm pretty excited to have it done... hopefully i'll sell quite a few in the next couple of weeks and have some finances towards bible school...
It's been such a random couple of weeks... faith camp = amazing! lifechanging... heart changing... peace, joy, hyper-tash! new friends... youth camp = immense! fear-facing, energy, donuts, amazing friendships...
this week i randomly went to ashburnham to visit Radio Rachel. We met at faith camp... she's a YWAMer, I'm a YWAMer... instant connection =P She lives 4 1/2 hours away but was down for 28:18... another camp. And we figured that it's easier to hang out while she's here than back at home... so. monday morning i headed on my random adventure with Jimmy Needham and Betty (GPS) for company. and i got there and after a while we found eachother (there's like... NO phone signal there!) we went on a beach adventure and walked i don't even know how many miles and just talked the whole time... it was awesome. i love learning about people. she does too lol so yeah... that was epic. we went back to the tent (which by the way was the most immense tent i've ever seen!) and had dinner with her a-may-zing family and then i hung around to go to the youth meeting. it's funny that i've always just gone to youth meetings... never grown-up ones... I was a youth. then a youth leader. Also, randomly, another friend of mine was there... Jojo... so we got to hang out too which was epic! She's amazing.
I obviously wasn't on team for this meeting... which was kind of weird... but almost refreshing at the same time... I've had an amazing few weeks... being able to pray for SO many young people and just really get alongside some amazing kiddos... but sometimes we just need to be refreshed huh? The meeting was awesome... a time of immense, freeing worship... and communion and lots of prophetic words...
afterwards, i hung out with jojo and her friends for a bit (we lost rachel =p) we went to watch Phatfish perform (=WOW!) and then went on a trek to find the youth camp fire... when i say trek, i exaggerate very little! It was such a mission lol! at the fire we found rachel... and then after a little while i headed back with her and we found some of their friends near the tents... and we layed on the ground and starwatched and How Long is a Chinaman.
We were just talking about how amazingly big God is... It kind of felt like we were laying inside a massive box with pin pricks at the top... How amazing that although we have such potential to be so insignificant... we're SO significant... wacky.
I could write so much about the couple of days i was there... I will spare you though =P but yeah... it was just so good to spend time with such incredible people... to be surrounded by encouragement and opportunity... and adventure... and washing up soap fights... and donkey dares... and good hugs... and offbeat claps... and cheerleading... and laughter. It's good for the soul, y'know...
This time last year i was in new york city. at EXACTLY this time last year, Joy and her grandma were out... and i was home alone... jamming out with my guitar... right before we went back to go see Freya, Jeff and Sue at Starbucks...
Well, that's all i have time for right now... I'll try to write something soon... even though i am at such peace right now... my soul is overflowing with thoughts... and ideas... and just all kinds of things and stuff.
i can't believe it's august. 11 days off a year since i arrived in New York. word. i feel like every year goes faster and faster... 2 years ago i was in NZ and just about to start a dts... 2 freaking years!!! that's insane!
i still havn't caught up on sleep since faith camp... I'm exhausted!
I can't write about the week yet though... cause i need to get ready. going to a wedding in london... i have just over an hour before i need to leave... then after the wedding, I'm driving straight to another youth camp... for another week...
Prayers would be much appreciated!
i have about 4 weeks till Bible School starts... I have absolutely NO money... i need £550 before i can even start school... Jehovah Jireh... amen.
I'm kind of in shock... but i can't let myself be. I feel the need to be strong for you... but im not sure how... i just want you to know that i love you =) always. I'm here buddy. like buddy the elf. but hopefully not as ridiculously awkward. well... maybe some of the time. It's kind of fun.
i should go and get ready. I can't walk in heels. mate. i actually cannot walk in heels... whhhhyyyy!?!?!?!?!?!?
today is early morning. shopping. dorky older brothers. (thankyou). BFF + Famous canadian friend. Pancakes. Bananas. Strawberries. BIG Emails. CDs. D-Dawg.. Walmer Castle. Patricia reunion. Cinema.... Adventure.
only a couple of days till Alisha flies to Israel... And I go to faithcamp the next morning... busy busy busy.
Life is exciting.
I love breakthrough that happens when you least expect it. When you most want it.
The Starbucks Race = GENIUS! Sorrell, that definately needs to happen more randomly, more often!
too much of anything is bad for you. I should finish that song sometime.
you know what? sometimes... sometimes life is ridiculously hard. And sometimes it's really easy to either try to be fun. and funny. and happy. and "ok" or to be really down... and focus on all the rubbish... and be saturated in despair and the hopelessness of it all... but more and more I'm discovering the actual reality of setting the course of my emotions/feelings/life by choosing what kind of stuff to focus on... I think I've probably blogged on it before. It's such a huge issue... I just started reading "Battlefield of The Mind" by Joyce Meyer and it's incredible... I highly recommend it. So many truths...
It's interesting to me how it's so much easier to believe lies... and to listen to negativity... when truth is so much more freeing! why is it SUCH a battle?
I guess it's character building or something... to learn when to fight, when to stand... when to rest... when to speak... when not to... when to move on... when to move out... when to stay... when to walk away... when to face the...whatever stuff...
my brain is such a full up overflowing thing right now.
im learning. always learning.
boys are weird.
so are flies... Did you know that flies bite?! One landed on me and bit my arm! so funny!
Beauty is as beauty does.
i wanna be beautiful on the inside. i want to carry a spirit of humility and excellence in every area... i dislike the inconsistancies within me. having a ministry and calling on my life is all very well... but it's nothing without good character...
God... make me like you! Make me authentic... and free... help me choose freedom and walk out in truth EVERY day... You are all I need. You are all that matters... "let my lifesong sing to you" not just the chorus part... the WHOLE song... All I want my life to do is bring glory to You...
My name is Natasha Lesley Ann McCoy.
'Birthday of the Lord/Celebration'
'Gracious and Merciful'
I'm believer that everything happens for a reason.
And that in every season, there are vital life lessons to be learned.
I believe that the greatest cause is to love and be loved.
Adventure and spontaneity are what I really love.
But also consistency.
I've learned that to rest is as important as to 'live'
Make Memories That Are Worth Remembering. That's what I say.
I believe people are brought into eachothers lives for a reason.
I believe that with every person you ever meet, you should teach and learn.
My life mission is to live a life that screams authenticity and points people to hope.
All the while, on the journey to find it to deeper and greater levels for myself. I haven't made it yet. Maybe I will, maybe I wont.
I mess up.
But I am not a mess up.
There is a lot of beauty in this life. I have decided to keep my focus on that, rather than all the pain and heartbreak.
Life is worth living.