peace.

You know when you're awake in the middle of the night for some reason and you can't figure out why?
You know when you're just getting sleepy... but then suddenly you're wide awake and can't envision sleep happening anytime soon?

You just heard some news...

Something that barely affects your day to day life but you are all too aware of the way it's going to affect and have effect so many other's lives...

You know when you grieve and then wonder if it's selfish because you're so distantly related to this 'situation' and you know what you're feeling probably can't compare to 'the others?'

You know when you wish you could do something. anything.
but you can't.

You know when you get a searing pain through your chest and can't stop literally shaking.
until you pray.

You know when you can't even begin to imagine, you know when you don't even WANT to imagine, the implications that this will have in the lives of those you love? And the lives of those you have never even, and probably never will meet...?

You know how you can grieve yet still have peace.

You know when you have no idea what God's doing... but you know that He's doing something.

You know how when you're praying for people and all you can see is the way their faces, all of them, lit up when they talked about her... about how beautiful she was. inside and out.

You know how when you think about what it would feel like to be in their shoes it almost tears you apart?

You know how your only memories of her are very short and somewhat vague... but you just KNEW that she had a truly beautiful soul...

You know how you're glad your paths got intertwined... even if it was just briefly. very briefly.

You know how you go to talk, to let them know you're thinking of them and praying... but all that comes out is jumble?

You know how you wish you had the right words. Is there even such a thing?

Funny that just this morning these are the two verses that I read and was blown away by again:

John 14:27 (Amplified Bible)

27Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

(The Message)

25-27"I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught.

Philippians 4:7 (The Message)

6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

(Amplified Bible)

7And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.