The Be All and End All.

I think it's hysterical that my mind is full of such complex and intricate details and ideas... But ask me to put it down on paper (or the computer as this case may be!)
I can't formulate any of my thoughts into anything that makes any sense!
Blank.

Well, today I was thinking about what I wanted to be remembered for... What legacy do I want to leave behind? What will I have contributed to planet earth? What will my lifesong have been?
A little morbid maybe, but if, for example, I was to die right this very second and my funeral was say.. next week... How many people would be there? Would I be a loss to society? What would be said in speeches? Would there be a celebration of my life? People talking about the impact I'd left in their life maybe? Or would only a handful of people be there and nobody really know what to say past the awkward generic funeral speeches that so often are made.
I'm not thinking this at all in a depressing, does anyone even care about me kind of way...
No, it was a challenge to myself...
A challenge to step back and look at my life - my gift - and what I'm doing with it.
I want to have a good reputation. I want people to think of me as being lots of good things.
Not perfect.
No no no.
I am FAR from perfect.
But as human and as flawed as we are, my hope is that the good will outweigh that bad in my life.
I dont want to be remembered for being selfish or prideful, arrogant or rude... lazy or insecure, apathetic, stupid, paranoid, boring... or anything else like it.
I struggle with all of the above as I'm pretty sure most of us do.

But what kind of woman do I aim to be?
Well,

I want to be a woman of high principles. Not ever compromising who I am or what I believe.

A woman of integrity

1.	adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

2.	the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.

3.	a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship's hull.

A woman of courage; To be able to do that even which I am afraid of.

1.	the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

2.	Obsolete. the heart as the source of emotion.

—Idiom

3.	have the courage of one's convictions, to act in accordance with one's beliefs, esp. in spite of criticism.

A woman of compassion
1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

A woman of grace

1.	elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

2.	a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

3.	favor or good will, moral strength..

(There's a lot more, but I thought I'd stick to 3!)

A woman of genorosity

1.	readiness or liberality in giving.

2.	freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3.	a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.

4.	largeness or fullness; amplitude.

Loyal

.	faithful to one's sovereign, government, or state: a loyal subject.

2.	faithful to one's oath, commitments, or obligations: to be loyal to a vow.

3.	faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity: a loyal friend.

4.	characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, etc.: loyal conduct.

funny
1. providing fun; causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical: a funny remark; a funny person.

kind

1.	of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.

2.	having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words.

3.	indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often fol. by to): to be kind to animals.

4.	mild; gentle; clement: kind weather.

5.	British Dialect. loving; affectionate.

I'm putting the definitions
cause sometimes I feel as though we forget what words mean.
I mean... we use them everyday, but do we even know what we're saying half the time?!

I want to be remembered for being an encourager, a good listener, for being wise and thoughtful, for being a good role model to younger girls especially, for being able to believe in that which i cannot see with my physical eyes.

The thing is, I know that I cannot do ANY of this in my own strength...

Basically, I want to be remembered for being an accurate representation of Jesus.

How do I go about that?
The way I see it we can't create anything.
We can't create any of the things in my list... or things like patience, peace, hope, joy...love...

In the Bible it says that they're gifts right?
and
on my birthday I can't pretend I've been given presents if I havn't... The only gifts I get are the ones people give to me!

I think it's kind of like that.
God gives us those "presents"
I think all he wants is a willing heart.
Sometimes I don't even have that....
But we can want to want to.
God can work with even the smallest glimmer of something small...
He's good like that.
We just have to give him permission to inspire us,
to change us,
to fill us with more goodness
and
less bad attitudes,
more creativity...
The list is endless.
God is endless.
God is limitless.
God is the be all and end all.