Pitch a tent and dwell in it.

Next month I'll be 20... 28 days until (Alisha) Smucker gets here. Last year I was in Oregon with her for our birthday (we share the same one!) This year she'll be here.
I wonder where we'll be next year.

Grace. This is going to be a year filled with grace (undeserved goodness).

--- 9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and ^[a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may ^[b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
2 Corinthians 12:9---

I love that imagery... of Jesus coming and pitching a tent on top of my heart and just... living and dwelling right there... He didn't just build a little tent... He stays... He lives... He rests.

I got my nose repierced on Christmas eve.

Sometimes my brain has themes for the day.
This week one day was love. One day was grace. One day was family...
Another was people.

Cause its so easy for me to put people on some kind of subconscious pedestal.
Then when I see an area of their life that they're making some bad decisions or have some really interesting behavioural patterns or ideas... or sometimes even just things that are different to the way I'd do them... Its really hard for me not to slip into judgement or frustration... or disappointment... or critisism.
But why?! I have no right.
Probably, I do exactly the same things as they do... Maybe some stuff isn't as obvious, but I'm pretty sure most things are... if not more so!
Why do I judge when I hate to be judged?!

It's a very bizarre cycle.
I get subconsciously irritated by what i see in other people that are infact character flaws that I struggle with too...
I have SO much to learn.

And recently, the verses in Romans 7 have become revalatory. Maybe that's not the word I really want.
But read this:

14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (The Message)

I remember reading this verse in New Zealand a year and a half ago... One night in a motel in Rotorua I just picked up Crystal's bible and wanted so badly to understand this verse. But it was nothing but gobbldeegook. I had no idea what he was trying to say.

I think there's still so much more in there for me to grasp, but suddenly these past few weeks I feel like i understand more of what Paul was trying to say... The battle between what we KNOW is right, what we KNOW is God's will... and what we do. There is a huge difference between knowing and doing. Sometimes its so hard to know why I do what I do... Sometimes I do REALLY stupid things. Sometimes I say really stupid things...

But usually the times when I do most stupid stuff and have a bad attitude about things... I've noticed that they're the times I'm not putting God as ultimate first.
I can seriously feel the difference.

I bet my family can too =P

It's nearly 3am. I want to be asleep... But I was hungry for a really long time and so went and got a marmite sandwich and glass of milk... and now my brain is just active.

I need to get my camera fixed,

I need a job too...

I can't wait to get more involved with church... Hopefully that's soon... I just have to sign some final paperwork for police checks this weekend.

I might try to learn how to paint.

You know when you're craving something but don't know what it is?
And you're not even hungry?

And how do you guard your heart without barricading it?

Right now, every single tap in my house drips.
I never want to be a dripping tap.
Not only does it get annoying very fast,
But it's wasting resources!
I don't want to waste my resources.
Or be nagging.

What should I cook for dinner tomorrow?

I'm babysitting a 7 month old baby tomorrow. Cute.

I have one cold foot. I hate having cold feet.

Goodnight neverland.