p.s new blog

so.

Things are different now.

www.theuntitledunwrittenone.blogspot.com

is my new blog...

feel free to follow me on there... hope you are all well

=)

end of.

soooooo
it's time to move on...
im at a point of taking practical steps of letting go of some stuff...
and some of that means i need to stop writing in this blog...
deep huh?!
however... if you, the faithful few, would like my new blog address... feel free to ask!
i don't know if you can message me through this blog... but
if not, facebook/email me... or leave a comment on here and i'll find a way to get it to you
peace, love and new beginnings!
x Tasha x

black and blue relevancy

tonight's one of those nights where so much has happened... that words aren't quite sufficient...
God did such a deep work in my heart that i don't think i even know what happened!
After church the visiting pastor prayed for me and it was SO spot on and relevent...
i love that.

i saw the answer to prayer.
across the hall.

i love that.

p.s answer your phone! You said we should talk... so i was planning on calling until you randomly pick up. but yeah... maybe you should just let me know when's good.

when she told me that it was just hard not knowing where she stood with that other person...
i knew exactly what she meant.

because i want to be loved, this is what i do.

you know those days when you don't quite want to be on your own... but you don't really want to be with anyone else?

she told me thankyou for not giving up on her.
i told her i wouldn't.
i won't.
precious hearts need love...without condition.
so i don't care if you're rude to me every time we see eachother... i see past that, darling girl...
i see that you're just trying to find God... to find truth... to find yourself...
i just love you!

It's alisha's last night here... She's finishing up packing...
ready for our last roadtrip...
to the airport...

for the first time in 2 years i actually kind of care that i don't have credit.

goodnight sleeptight
don't let the bedbugs bite.
if they do
grab a shoe
and beat them till they're black and blue.

hostage and homer

just so you know, i'm taking these sweatpants hostage.
coffee and openess and brokeness (a.k.a ammuntion...) oh, and holding the door open. Some people want it all but i don't want nothing at all... wild child and camera pick ups. dinner and DTS. the long way home. nightime childhood tours and castles and cellars. if you could paint a picture what would you paint? that field i saw that time. uploading photos and crashing internet. grammar corrections and emails. might as well stay over. cue the sweats and lady levi hoody.
and that's just in half a day!
i can't believe it's taken us this long to be friends, div!
but i just think you're pretty amazing. on more levels than you can comprehend.
also, remember john 3:16... ;)
and jeremiah 29:11
and Joshua 1:5..
Exodus 14:14
and one we didn't cover last night as such... 1 John 4:18
ha!
you should write me a note...so i can spit my gum in it.

<3
--------
5th at 11:30
7th at 7:30
14th at 8:30
2nd at 2:30.
4th at 6:30
7th at 3:30
-------

i don't want to always drive my car...or my soul on reserve!
i gotta practise filling up before i NEED to...

i love life.
like woah!

radio productivity

i'm feeling half productive... the inside of my car is now vacuumed and clean.
now to tackle my bedoom...
i don't know how clothes just appear at the end of my bed... into a big, huge, random mountain that almost seems impossible to even try to get rid of...
but faith the size of a mustard seed, right?!
=p

I should be finishing up the acoustic album on weds... i'm pretty excited to have it done...
hopefully i'll sell quite a few in the next couple of weeks and have some finances towards bible school...

It's been such a random couple of weeks...
faith camp = amazing! lifechanging... heart changing... peace, joy, hyper-tash! new friends...
youth camp = immense! fear-facing, energy, donuts, amazing friendships...

this week i randomly went to ashburnham to visit Radio Rachel. We met at faith camp... she's a YWAMer, I'm a YWAMer... instant connection =P
She lives 4 1/2 hours away but was down for 28:18... another camp.
And we figured that it's easier to hang out while she's here than back at home...
so.
monday morning i headed on my random adventure with Jimmy Needham and Betty (GPS) for company.
and i got there and after a while we found eachother (there's like... NO phone signal there!)
we went on a beach adventure and walked i don't even know how many miles and just talked the whole time... it was awesome.
i love learning about people.
she does too lol
so yeah... that was epic.
we went back to the tent (which by the way was the most immense tent i've ever seen!)
and had dinner with her a-may-zing family
and then i hung around to go to the youth meeting.
it's funny that i've always just gone to youth meetings... never grown-up ones...
I was a youth.
then a youth leader.
Also, randomly, another friend of mine was there... Jojo... so we got to hang out too which was epic! She's amazing.

I obviously wasn't on team for this meeting... which was kind of weird... but almost refreshing at the same time...
I've had an amazing few weeks... being able to pray for SO many young people and just really get alongside some amazing kiddos...
but sometimes we just need to be refreshed huh?
The meeting was awesome... a time of immense, freeing worship... and communion and lots of prophetic words...

afterwards, i hung out with jojo and her friends for a bit (we lost rachel =p)
we went to watch Phatfish perform (=WOW!)
and then went on a trek to find the youth camp fire... when i say trek, i exaggerate very little! It was such a mission lol!
at the fire we found rachel... and then after a little while i headed back with her
and we found some of their friends near the tents... and we layed on the ground and starwatched and How Long is a Chinaman.

We were just talking about how amazingly big God is... It kind of felt like we were laying inside a massive box with pin pricks at the top...
How amazing that although we have such potential to be so insignificant... we're SO significant...
wacky.

I could write so much about the couple of days i was there... I will spare you though =P
but yeah... it was just so good to spend time with such incredible people... to be surrounded by encouragement and opportunity... and adventure... and washing up soap fights... and donkey dares...
and good hugs... and offbeat claps... and cheerleading... and laughter. It's good for the soul, y'know...

This time last year i was in new york city.
at EXACTLY this time last year, Joy and her grandma were out... and i was home alone... jamming out with my guitar...
right before we went back to go see Freya, Jeff and Sue at Starbucks...

Well, that's all i have time for right now...
I'll try to write something soon...
even though i am at such peace right now... my soul is overflowing with thoughts... and ideas... and just all kinds of things and stuff.

heels & buddy.

i can't believe it's august.
11 days off a year since i arrived in New York.
word.
i feel like every year goes faster and faster...
2 years ago i was in NZ and just about to start a dts...
2 freaking years!!!
that's insane!

i still havn't caught up on sleep since faith camp... I'm exhausted!

I can't write about the week yet though... cause
i need to get ready.
going to a wedding in london... i have just over an hour before i need to leave...
then after the wedding, I'm driving straight to another youth camp...
for another week...

Prayers would be much appreciated!

i have about 4 weeks till Bible School starts... I have absolutely NO money...
i need £550 before i can even start school...
Jehovah Jireh...
amen.

I'm kind of in shock... but i can't let myself be. I feel the need to be strong for you... but im not sure how... i just want you to know that i love you =)
always.
I'm here buddy.
like buddy the elf.
but hopefully not as ridiculously awkward.
well... maybe some of the time.
It's kind of fun.

i should go and get ready.
I can't walk in heels.
mate.
i actually cannot walk in heels...
whhhhyyyy!?!?!?!?!?!?

breakfast dates and changing focus.

phases. seasons. chapters.

coffee.

today is early morning. shopping. dorky older brothers. (thankyou). BFF + Famous canadian friend. Pancakes. Bananas. Strawberries.
BIG Emails. CDs. D-Dawg.. Walmer Castle. Patricia reunion. Cinema....
Adventure.

only a couple of days till Alisha flies to Israel... And I go to faithcamp the next morning...
busy busy busy.

So exciting.

Life is exciting.

I love breakthrough that happens when you least expect it.
When you most want it.

The Starbucks Race = GENIUS!
Sorrell, that definately needs to happen more randomly, more often!

too much of anything is bad for you.
I should finish that song sometime.

you know what?
sometimes...
sometimes life is ridiculously hard.
And sometimes it's really easy to either try to be fun. and funny. and happy. and "ok"
or
to be really down... and focus on all the rubbish... and be saturated in despair and the hopelessness of it all...
but
more and more
I'm discovering the actual reality
of
setting the course of my emotions/feelings/life
by choosing what kind of stuff to focus on...
I think I've probably blogged on it before.
It's such a huge issue...
I just started reading "Battlefield of The Mind" by Joyce Meyer
and it's incredible...
I highly recommend it.
So many truths...

It's interesting to me how it's so much easier to believe lies... and to listen to negativity...
when truth is so much more freeing!
why is it SUCH a battle?

I guess it's character building or something... to learn when to fight, when to stand... when to rest... when to speak... when not to... when to move on... when to move out... when to stay... when to walk away... when to face the...whatever stuff...

my brain is such a full up overflowing thing right now.

im learning.
always learning.

boys are weird.

so are flies... Did you know that flies bite?! One landed on me and bit my arm!
so funny!

Freedom Begins.

Beauty is as beauty does.

i wanna be beautiful on the inside.
i want to carry a spirit of humility and excellence in every area...
i dislike the inconsistancies within me.
having a ministry and calling on my life is all very well...
but it's nothing without good character...

God... make me like you! Make me authentic... and free... help me choose freedom and walk out in truth EVERY day...
You are all I need. You are all that matters...
"let my lifesong sing to you"
not just the chorus part... the WHOLE song...
All I want my life to do is bring glory to You...

lightbulbs and skinny jeans

isle of wight. wales. bristol. bath. london. kent.
darn it... i didn't make it to 7 yet...

it was So good to go to church today...
I don't think i realised how much i miss seeing people regularly...
Freya was so freaking cute... and she came to pick me up from junior gym... well, she came to say hi at the end... not pick me up... but it was cute.

God is good.
i love that.

I love lightbulb revelations.

And when i dont NEED anyone...
when i get little glimpses of being fully content in Him...
i need to get better at letting Him love me... consistantly.

1200 miles in under 2 weeks... not bad.

bible college interview in the morning. and then a brunch date with my canadian buddies.
=)

finishing vocals in the studio on weds...
i can feel my throat trying to be sore... NOT ok.
I think it's time for that pattern to be broken.
i will Not get sick.

I didn't quite realise that skinny jeans would cause such a stir...
i literally blushed.
yes... tasha mccoy has worn skinny jeans 3 times in a week! (and only got bullied into it the first time...)
It's only taken 5 1/2 months =P

i love Life Church.
genuinely.

and i'm excited for the stuff that God's doing.

Faith camp and youth camp son.
Hardcore...
I've never staffed anything like that before... not in this country, anyways...

I better get my prank on!

i have another gig on saturday... =)
I have to learn some songs this week...

I really miss double dates with my BFF.
and Ben.
And Jerry.
(sorry Justin =p)

i hate trying to find a "right time."

gosh.

movie marathon.

peeling back... nice.

stop. wait. LISTEN.

little sprout

pretty much it was exactly how i thought it would be.

i got a epic tan lines.

and a LOT of mail when i got home.
monday shall be busy sorting it all out.

fishing help from across the ocean. what a superstar indeed...

i guess im out of the crew then...
ha.
well, I'm ok with that =)

SO weird that you recognised her from facebook! I'm glad you said hi...
Wacky!

i am SO ready for bed.

gotta be at children's church for 9:30 tomorrow.
I'm excited to be with the kids again!
I love them!

My life constantly hangs in the balance,
but I will not stop obeying your instructions.
(psalm 119:109)

deeeeeeear wisdom teeth
why must you keep changing your mind?! just decide whether to grow or not!
love tash.

i only went tanning on the beach for one day... i don't think i could cope with being out in the sun every day!

i love skype.
and i love my friends... i just wish they didn't live so freaking far away!

Life is weird.
God is all that make sense.
Literally nothing else does.

"you're acting kinda shady, quit calling me baby"

im so tired.
where does time fly to?!

i suppose it's time for bed... if i go now I have time to journal before going to sleep...
peace out bean sprout...

oh... i kinda miss the little sprout...
:P

bit of this, bit of that

i love showers in the middle of the day.
also
i love that she's on cloud nine...
she deserves it!
so does he =)

4:37 tomorrow, then.

Im excited to lead worship and preach at Raze tomorrow!

I ask how you are.
The answer's the same everytime.
and it's intense.
...-woah. ok. it's different this time.
No accounts man.

The metronome concerns me.

almost overwhelmed by memories...

their. they're. there.
giving english lessons over facebook is fun.

i miss real hugs.
and

sharing my heart.

Thank God for Jesus.
=)

are 7pm naps allowed?!

maybe i should go for a run... lol!

you sounded so happy that it made me cry.

malaysian style steak for dinner tonight!
nathaniel's favourite
for mum's birtday.

im missing lifegroup though =( again.
why must stuff always happen on a thursday?!

he makes me feel safe about next week.

tisha's prom is tomorrow!
her dress is i n c r e d i b l e!

limbo.

page 37

i LOVE milo!
I forgot about blending it...
genius auntie of mine!

i want a typewriter. on top of my wardrobe.

also
I really want an old beat up guitar.
I had one.
but gave it away.

then i was gonna get one from The Changing Room
but some random guy got there before me!

bare walls...
breaks my little heart really...

sorting. tidying. cleaning. dusting. ing. ing. ing.
so many ings.
so many things.

i need a way of recording demos so i can remember stuff that i write.

knock knock jokes.
page 37.
you know!
How beautiful...

im SO excited for faith camp.
random.
I've never enjoyed it before.

I'm on the source team.

and one night am doing my life story...

i wonder if that means i need to tell it to mi familia.

i need a word that rhymes with orange.

maybe i need a new lens prescription.

im pretty ok... fanks.

Beauty is as beauty does.

you become what you behold.

7pm siesta?!

dry feet.

.

ha.
Recently, im noticing a slight correlation between anger, frustration and lost car keys.

i did The Unthinkable Thing yesterday.

Surprisingly i slept really good.

But
I woke up early... and am tired now.

my brother passed his driving test today!
and right now is driving for the first time without an adult in his car with him!
his girlfriend didn't even know he was sitting his test
so he's gone to surprise her...
he's a cutie.

malaysian invasion hits my house tomorrow.
praise the lord for real milo again.

did you know there are two types?

i was meant to meet freya today.
but had to cancel.
i hate that.
but
nathaniel had mum's car
and mum needs mine to get food for the week.
it's the only time she can.

i am hungry.
cereal in a mug for the third time today?
i think yes!

good one.
throw a speaker at me.

i might hear you better that way =P

oh good.

rip my laptop in half.

another genius idea.

rubbish platter

its 5am.
i've been awake for an hour.
i want to sleeeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!

so, i ended up having to cancel going to the charity ball.... waaaaay last minute
cause
as i was getting ready
i nearly fainted.
my whole day was so dramatic and that just topped it off!

when i had a shower, my mum wouldn't let me lock the door incase i needed rescuing
and now im on bedrest until she decides otherwise.

i hate feeling sick in the night. well, i dislike feeling sick any time. but it just feels different at night.

im not using capital letters on purpose.

also

i think being sick makes me so sensitive.
physically
and
emotionally.

i dont like it.

drink some rum he says.
i think not thanks.

hey kid... hang on in there ok??? please...
breathe.
i know it's hard... i KNOW...
but i also know that He who is in you is faaar greater than any of the frustrations you're facing right now.
you're more amazing than you know and i just love you.
i hate seeing you sad.

i went and saw tisha in her school performance of "The Little Rocky Shop of Horrors" or whatever it's called.
She's been working so hard for 6 months.
She was one of the divas.
and she was aaaammmaaazing!
I was so proud of her.
She sang. danced. acted...
all with a New York accent.
which she does VERY well!
I had no idea my sister was such a star...
well, i knew it... but it was good to be reminded!

uncle tony and auntie helen fly in today.
the malaysian invasion hits my house on tuesday.
auntie marina's taken 3 weeks off work too.
my mum's accent changes when she's in malaysian mode haha
i bet i pick up random stuff too.
brilliant.
if i suddenly get a malaysian accent
i'll post a video =P
but probably not really.

i have my whitby skype date soon!
im excited.

i need to sleep.
i feel sick... maybe it'll make it go away!

thanks for tuning in to this "i feel rubbish" blog.
haha!
i'll try not to be so lame next time =p

you remind me...

That smell just got caught me off guard.
I didn't remember that it would make me remember so much...

Singing in a charity ball tonight. I hope I can sing... My throat is still being crazy.

Deeeeeear Sorrellina
I told you I would write you a thing.
Let's do breakfast soon!
You're amazing!
I've been craving Chicken salad like ceeerrraaazzyy! And every-time I think of one of those I think of you.
Let's go for coffee. And talk about our wonderful Jesus.
And ha! remember those post-it notes?
That was fun.
And the T.P?!
classic!
haha!
see you soon!
Love Tash.


retail therapy.
ha. I have no money. So i spend money. I guess you need logic to use logic!
scarf. sunglasses. waistcoat (haha! Yes superstar... I was inspired. And there was a sale!)
earrings. long tank-top.

2 ball gowns. uh oh!
What will she do?

Seriously. Have Fun. That smell.
I miss so many things linked with this smell anyways today...

I have to go.
Get my car sorted.

great =)

On second thoughts...

nah.... let the silence speak.
It might be louder.

Breakthrough happened differently to how I'd anticipated and prepared for... By laughing rather than Talking.

"Tasha not journalling?!?!? That doesn't seem right... It just doesn't fit...!!!"
I know.
*sighs* I miss journalling.
p.s thankyou for my much needed kick up the butt today. It was impeccable timing as ever, friend... and thankyou for being gentle instead of brutal yet patiently truthful.
Thankyou for speaking faith and inspiring passion again.
We DEFINATELY need coffee more often =P

Stop saying shutup... stop making her feel small... Stop trying to act like you own her. Stop laughing while she shares her heart.
Back off, Bud...

"You annoy me therefore I exist."
LOL!
Movie quote of the century!

I am so inspired.
I feel like I'm slowly coming alive again. I don't know exactly what happened tonight... but it was beautiful.
And freeing.
Breakthrough!

Driving home... Talking to my Jesus. Not caring whether anyone can see... Trusting for breakthrough in my heart and in and with my family...

Uncle Tony and Auntie Helen arrive on saturday from Malaysia...
I'm happy. It'll be so good for my mumma to have them here...
A piece of home.
Family.

I think I will smell of a curry for the next month.

I don't want you to move away, kiddo...
I don't think I can put into words how much I'll miss you.

I miss making tents out of chairs and sheets.

I'm looking forward to camping this summer...

Did you know that on average we think 1300 words per minute?!

I wish I could paint. So bad.

My gland is still swollen =(

The brew it is then... Honey, Lemon, ground ginger and ground garlic in warm water. yum...?!

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd. I SHALL NOT WANT.

^^^ click the link ^^^

All Sufficient El Shaddai.

I'm too young for hip pain. Surely!?

Maybe it's time for the unspoken to be spoken.

i love wearing my sulu...

take me up in that there hot air balloon!

He's leaving for a month. I hope he'll be ok.

She's here for a couple of days. I wonder if i'll get to see her.

is it too soon to call?

It's funny how God will ask you to do something for Him when they're least possible for you... cause that's when it's easiest for Him to prove that its not by your might or power but by His spirit that anything can be accomplished.

home videos crack me up!
Thank The LORD for Change!!!
Hallelujah!

Ha!
"Yes. I am driving on the right side of the road. We can eat and drink and talk on the phone here... So we can probably do this too."
Best video ever!

there are 52 white keys and 36 black keys on a full size piano.
I want one with 37.

I said that I needed some motherly advice.
She was proud of me.
And she still remembers my name!
"set aside time every day of prayer and reading the word. It's life or death for you Tash... It'll make you stronger..."

It is well with my soul.

I can't wait to hear his life story...

the Lord is all sufficient.
El Shaddai.
All Sufficient.

It doesn't take a time of tragedy or pain to remind us of that... it takes time of devotion and praise.

Nathaniel has his driving test so soon!
So grown up.

You don't miss the water till the well runs dry.

Family holiday soon...

A week in the Isle of Wight.

my brother, sister, a cousin and I get a cabin of our own haha

I wish i had benodryl.
And the journal i never got.
And that scarf that I forgot that I lost.

Banana Splits. It's a date.
It is?

What a waste.

Not all tragedies are tragedies. Have your eyes opened. Dont just see everything as negative in your life. Open your eyes. God can use everything for good.

some other things and other stuff.

I will not be bound by fear any more.
I cannot!
I'm almost afraid to be afraid anymore...
It's time to up my game.
I'm time to allow furthur healing and continual change.

ha. why is it so hard sometimes?
and where's the line between assertive and rude?

also.
resting and trusting... and laziness. the line is where?

True or false: what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
I opt for the strengthening half of that phrase.
please?!

sometimes I love the red pen on my essay.
sometimes I hate it.
mostly i love it really...
but i intensley dislike giving it.
like woah.

I miss us. I miss how we were...last weekend was growing. but still, I wish I could figure out a way to address this... Can I even fix it? What is there even to fix?
Apparently communication is good for this type of thing.
ha!
my favourite. and least favourite. area of life.
It's getting silly though. I MISS YOU!

Openess. Brokeness. Growth. Change.
The never ending cycle.

Let's figure this out together cause I sure as heck can't without you.

"When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad."

Also, I need to learn to say NO when it's necassary.

I lost your number. I miss you too. And I have no idea how to get in touch with you!
I'll get my people to contact your people to discuss the small matter of the adventures with our names all over it!

Haircut monday.
It has been a v e r y long time since the last one of those. Joy cut it in um... september? and before that was last april.
Well that's not good.

BBQ tomorrow.
I wish the BFF was gonna be there... =(

I'm cold.
Also, my bear and guitar need names apparently.

Be Bold. Be Strong... Wise Words...

I got to talk with the superstar! im just glad about that. im sad that the phone ate her battery though.
but yes. i definately love conversing with this lady.
tuesdays & fridays = videos.


ok. 7 hours of sleep. actual sleep.
yes please!

cereal text

my tears falling out of your eyes.
That was possibly the most beautiful thing ever...
You are amazing.
And, beautiful lady, just hang on in there ok?
"I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on...
There will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes,
still I will praise You"
Remember?!

Will eating lots of oranges make me feel better fast? Vitamin C goodness.
I'm supposed to be singing in Leicester Square tomorrow... but I can barely talk...
I might have to cancel =(

Sometimes the purpose of a song is not to sing it.

Guide tracks done.

Ghanaian food, yes please!

"Cereal is wonderful. End of. Nothing else to say.
You can have it any time of the day.
In a mug is the only way,
so make sure you have your one a day."
lol!
Freya, you crack me up!

ok. time for the 20 miles of silence again.
yay.

I need the code for my radio!
At least music can block out silence!

I hope I have enough petrol.

just a little bit.

10 miles each way. In complete and utter silence.
Every time.
Sometimes that's cool. Sometimes I wish I knew what to say.

Also I love how some people drop in the "big sister" line as and when they feel like it! Cracks me up. tears = poetic phrases. Evidently.

13 hours in the studio yesterday. With swollen glands and an eye infection.
Another long day tomorrow in a london studio.
Jesus, help me!

Whatever money I get from this is gonna go towards clearing debts and bible school this september!
Sing my way to school.

Insincere sincerity.

WE DID IT! It wasn't a fight, but we actually TALKED through stuff!
Progress!

Babysitting a bathrobe over the summer. I love it!
I miss you, Superstar.
Let's have another sweats day. And drink REAL coffee. None of that instant stuff. Let's have sleepovers and talk about everything and nothing. And real things. And ask questions. And be goofy. Let's eat right. And go fishing. And hablar spanglish. Let's even go on a hike (my personal favourite!) Let's play music... lesson for lesson. It fits in your hand like the water in rain. Not a lot baby girl (just a little bit)

I'm hungry... but not inspired.

I don't know how I feel about you changing my song.

How do you get rid of creepy stalkers?!
Ignoring is not doing a thing.

Everything is permissable. Just not always beneficial.

God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
(psalm 46:5)

Thankyou for that.

I miss the kindred one too.
Come back! Even if all we did was Operation Babysit... I would love it still. Let's stay up all night and get mad/amused when the sun is up at 4am! Let's worship on the beach in the middle of the night. And talk with our hands. Let's go for a run... Up a hill. In real shoes. Fast Faces anyone?!
Let's text/IM while we're in the same room. And we could call Nevada 333-777. Did you know that there are 37 tagged photos of you and me?!

Dreams are weird.

Alisha and Anita will be here soon. Gotta figure out airport runs and such things...
Roadtrip to Wales!
Epic.